Of two minds...

It's been all over the internets as of late: Ethiopian adoptions will be severely cut back, by as much as 90%. Here is the skinny (taken from the State Department's Intercountry Adoption website)...

On March 9th, MOWCYA announced a plan to implement a reduction in case processing from approximately 50 per day to only 5 per day. MOWCYA has stated that this reduction is to improve screening of adoption cases while also devoting existing resources to other priorities on vulnerable children.

I've read so many differing reactions to the announcement: disbelief, anger, fear and sadness on one side, and relief that the Ethiopian goverment is doing something to combat the ever growing problem of corruption and fraud in the adoption process on the other. Me? I feel it all. I am truly of two minds on all of this. 

 

When we started the adoption process to bring home L back in the spring of 2006, there were only 5 agencies licensed in Ethiopia. It was still a small program and was only just beginning to change because of the slowing or cancelled programs in China, Guatemala, Nepal & Korea.  When I first joined the online groups as we submitted the first of our paperwork, families were getting referrals in a matter of weeks. By the time we had our dossier submitted in February of 2007, the wait for a referral had increased from 3-4 weeks to 5-7 months. One can only imagine how ill-prepared the government agencies of Ethiopia were to deal with such a massive increase in cases. As Ethiopian adoption became increasingly popular, more and more agencies jumped on the bandwagon. Some good, some bad. When we started the adoption process for E in the winter of 2009, the amount of agencies with an active Ethiopian program was overwhelming, and the rumors and stories of fraud and corruption were disheartening, to put it mildly.

 

I think what MOWA is doing is a positive step. In my heart I simply cannot justify 100 "good" adoptions if there is even one case where a child was taken from his/her birth family through manipulation or fraud. The Ethiopian government needs to take the time to build their infastructure so that they can review each and every case, making sure the agencies working in Ethiopia have provided full disclosure as to how each and every child has come to be declared an orphan.

 

Yet it wasn't too long ago when I was submitting paperwork, going through homestudies, and living in that horrible limbo where all waiting families reside. Wanting a child so desperately and having almost every aspect of the process out of your control is a horrible feeling. I remember the fear I felt when I heard Ethiopia had decided that parents would have to be present for court, thus requiring two trips and countless delays. We were lucky to squeak through before that was implemented but I have plenty of friends who had their lives turned upside down during that time. Sadly, that now seems like small potatoes compared to what is happening now. I think of all the families who are now glued to their e-mail, waiting for news from their agencies, trying in vain to get a grasp on the new timeline these changes will create. When they get a referral now, how long until court? After court, how long until an embassy date? 3 months? Six? Twelve? No one knows, but it doesn't look good when we're talking a 90% reduction of a process that has already slowed so much over the past couple of years. Add to that the backlog created each year during the rainy season closings...it's grim.

 

What hurts my heart the most? The thought that so many children will now live in institutionalized care for even longer periods of time. I can barely bring myself to think of my kids' life before they came "home" to me. It's painful to think that they cried and no one was available to soothe them. That they were hungry and no one was there to feed them. That they didn't always have someone there to read them stories, "ooh" & "aah" over each little smile and triumph, and hold them close when they were lonely or scared. Don't get me wrong, the nannies and nurses at L & E's orphanage were all wonderful. There certainly didn't seem to be any willful neglect, only the neglect that occurs when there are a handful of nannies taking care of dozens of infants and toddlers. They did the best they could, of that I'm sure. But even the "best" of institutionalized care is never as good as having a loving parent/family.

 

On a purely selfish level, I'm sad that the door to adopting again from Ethiopia seems to be closing. The choice made for me. Although my two amazing babies keep my life VERY full right now, I had always thought that, just maybe, we might head back for #3. Now that possibility seems so slim and I'm grieving for the child that might have been a part of our family.

 

So, lots of talk, but what can we do? Donate to non-profits like Ethiopian Orphan Relief and help make life better for those children that will be affected by these changes the most. Click here and donate now.