Can I get a do-over? Please?

This morning has definitely put me in my mommy-place. Not that I thought I was a perfect mom, by any stretch of the imagination. But this morning's events certainly let me know that I had let my guard down...hardcore. What is it about parenthood screw-ups that linger on the brain? I just can't let it go. No matter if I've done a million wonderful mommy things, one mistake and I'm stewing about it endlessly, berating myself, trying to figure out what I could have done better, feeling the judgement of a thousand other (totally in my head)moms. So, I decided to blog about it and LET IT FREAKIN' GO.

After a lovely 6.5 mile workout I had the good fortune to run into my friend (and birthday girl, no less) Paige. Now, in my defense, adult conversation during the day is rare in my world, so I hunkered down for a good chat. Lila was playing in the playground area with AM, all was well with the world. I was definitley feeling my mommy mojo. At some point, Lila ventured into the lobby area with some other children. I usually don't let her wander that far, but I was busy chatting and had an eyeball on her most times. But it only took a couple of minutes for my child to attempt to exit the lobby through the revolving doors and get herself lodged in said revolving doors. Did I notice? Nope. Not until another mom brought her over along with our beloved Miss Gina from the front desk. As Lila was getting a gentle lecture from Miss Gina I felt about a small as one can feel. What I'm sure were probably understanding looks and sympathetic smiles felt to me like everyone standing around me pointing and shouting, "Bad! Bad Mommy!"

Of course, I dwelled on the incident all the way home and through lunch. Poor Lila...not knowing that all of my anger and disappointment was directed squarely at myself.

Lila was taking her sweet time with lunch (again), so I decided to run out into the yard and cut some of the tulips that had just made their way up yesterday. I walked back into the house with a lovely bouquet as Lila says, "Mommy, I have to go potty!" As I rush her out of her seat and towards the bathroom, I realize that there is poop EVERYWHERE. On her booster seat, on the floor, on her shoe, and coming all kinds of ways out of her skirt and Pull-Up. I'm sure she had to go while I was outside and totally unavailable. Getting Lila, the floor, the seat, her shoe, and her skirt cleaned up all the while attempting rather miserably to make sure the dog doesn't sneak away with the poopy diaper was pretty much the last straw. Not my best parenting moment. Not even close.

Now that my little doodlebug is sleeping peacefully in my bed I am determined to shake off this shroud of failure that has descended on my morning. I'm sure all moms have these moments, mornings, days...etc. that seem to erase all of the great things we do each day. By sending this out to the internets I'm deciding to let this morning go and start our post-nap day anew. No berating myself, no second-guessing, no blowing out of proportion, no dwelling or stewing on my mistakes.

Hmmm, I do feel better. How about that?