What I'm currently doing to keep my mind occupied and not focused on the fact that I am soon leaving my little girl for 10 days!!! Yes, I'm leaving for a wonderful amazing reason, but it doesn't make it any easier. Thankfully, sewing is great fun and requires enough focus that I can keep the tears at bay. Here are my latest two projects:
And some gratuitous pics of my two beautiful children:
We leave for Ethiopia in 2 weeks. I can barely wrap my mind around that simple fact. People keep asking me if I'm ready and I honestly don't know how to respond. Does anyone really know if they are ready to bring home another baby? The nursery is ready, or at least decorated in the most adorable fashion (see previous post). But to truly picture my life as a mommy of 2? It's kind of fuzzy at the moment. Perhaps that's for the best ;)
I've been watching a lot of videos from Lila's first year home. I haven't seen them in some time - most days I'm so wrapped up in the present, I forget to take some time and check out the past. But I'm so glad I did. Looking at the videos made me see something I was too sick in mind, body & spirit to see back then. While I was having the freak-out of all freak-outs, meltdown of all meltdowns, my baby was loving me. I remember worrying so much about her attachment, and all I should have done was look at the evidence! There is a video of me giving Lila her very first bath. It was 3 days after we arrived home, my sister was visiting, I had spent the past 2 days with a VERY nasty stomach flu, and Lila had just puked her entire bottle all over my sister. I remember just wanting to cry (and I probably did). But the video doesn't show that at all. Instead, it shows my little Lila just gazing at me during her bath. Almost the whole time she's smiling and staring at me. Why didn't I see that? I wish I had. Thankfully, none of the videos seem to show what a mess I truly was at the time. I wasn't aware of the "fake it 'till you make it" concept back then, but apparently that's what I did!
I finally joined Youtube, so here is another video that I just love:
First off, sorry about the blurry beginning. I have absolutely no idea how to edit videos...frankly, I'm still impressed that I'm actually posting one to my blog. Baby steps, right?
Anyway, in this video Lila is laughing. At me. Now that I think back, I remember that I was one of the only ones that could get her to really laugh (what I really love is that she still has that laugh). This video was taken no more than 3 weeks after arriving home...I was still in full-on meltdown mode. And I didn't notice that my doodlebug thought her mama was the most hilarious person ever.
So, what I need to remember this time around: I want to remind myself to keep my eyes open and look for the GOOD stuff. Don't nitpick and search for bad things, but take the time to notice all of the good things that are happening. I want to really see and notice when Elijah smiles at me, when he looks at me with recognition, when he cries and I make him feel better, when I make him laugh just by making funny faces.
I can't say that bringing home a new baby won't be stressful and hard. I have no doubt that there are challenges ahead. But I'm hell-bent and determined to step away from my own anxiety and see all the amazing things that are sure to happen. Wow, I just cannot wait to meet my baby boy.
We leave for Ethiopia in 16 days!! In the immortal words of Chevy Chase: "Halleluiah, Holy shit!" Sorry, I don't swear much on this blog...but I feel like this deserves an expletive.
I'm currently watching the Betty White SNL performance on demand. I have to agree with my friend Alta, the Lawrence Welk skits are freakin' hilarious...love the character with the tiny hands and gigantic forehead. Can someone say halloween costume??
Of course, with so much about to happen, I decided to take up a new hobby! My darling husband caught my subtle (like a shotgun) hints for a sewing machine. My friend Jen (check out her blog here) took me to this amazing fabric shop in Clintonville, Sew to Speak. LOVED IT. Such adorable fabrics. This past Sunday I used my machine for the first time. Oh, the rush! I tried my hand at the Oliver & S popover sundress. Although it is riddled with errors, the fact that it actually resembles a dress makes me the happiest girl in all the land! Behold:
Cute, right? I think next time, I'll use the 3T size. In commercial stuff Lila is somewhere between a 3T and 4T. But this seems a bit too wide.
I also found some cute stuff for Lila's room at Target. With all that is about to change for my little girl, I don't want her to feel like her room has been looted for Elijah's new room (which it kinda has). Her room now boasts adorable shelf/bin things (color coordinated with her bedding, love it!).
And so does Lila, it seems.
Finally, some updated photos of Elijah's room. While visiting with Alta & Drake (amazing parents to the most adorable little man, Rowan) I was able to finally purchase the wall decals I've been coveting.
We also purchased the crib music thing you see in the picture. We had the same one with Lila and LOVED it. Unfortunately, they don't make them anymore, so we had to hit up Ebay. It has music, lights, BUBBLES, and comes with a lovely remote. Now, that may sound silly. But there is something to be said about the ability to sneak open your wee one's door, remotely turn on the soothing music, and sneak back out without your little angel being any the wiser.
Alrighty. Off to eat a Ghirardelli double chocolate brownie topped with Breyers vanilla topped with black cherry topping. Yum yum yummy.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Oy, I've been so horrible about getting pictures uploaded, so here you go! A "Wordless Wednesday," if you will (yep, totally ripped off Paige's idea...that's how I roll).
I just love this picture. Love it.
Gathering some major Easter booty at Ya Ya & Grandpa's.
My adorable little Easter Bunny. Roaring, naturally.
Almond cake from Giant Eagle. Yum!
My birthday girl is 3!!!!
Lila and her not-so-secret admirer, Eli, making some music at Lila's birthday party. How gorgeous is that little boy! Wow!
I am known amongst my oldest friends as having the WORST memory. Seriously, very large chunks of high school seem to just be gone. My friend Mal will talk about some event and I often have a questioning and/or blank look on my face. Very distubing. So, here are things I never ever want to forget about my darling little girl:
1. She calls hamsters "ham-monsters"
2. We went bathing suit shopping a few days ago, and I realized she was calling them "building suits"
3. When she first started walking, she would toddle around with both hands high in the air for balance. Always looked like she was surrendering.
4. She used to call our dog, Molly, "Mossy"
5. I used to bottle-feed her to sleep in my arms each night. I miss that.
6. When she was a baby, she'd blow raspberries when upset
7. She used to have this machine-gun laugh...it was so cute. And loud.
8. The desire to play with a cable chord was what finally spurred her to crawl.
9. She used to dance like her Uncle John...lots of squatting.
10. In the middle of Baby Ben's birthday party, Lila decided it was the perfect time to show everyone that she could sommersault...on hardwood floors, no less.
