Am I indecisive? I can't decide...

Totally feeling a bit premature, but this recent baby boom has me thinking about starting work on the baby's room. Currently, it is completely filled with random crap. As with Lila's room, I plan on choosing the bedding and then going from there. I mentioned in a previous post that I had seen some ADORABLE baby bedding at Target. Per Paige's request, I headed online to post a few pictures and came upon some more cute baby bedding. AND NOW I CAN'T DECIDE!! Help! I would love your comments on the following:

I do love the color scheme, and you can get this adorable rug as well! I can't tell you how much I'm loving this rug.

And our next contestant... 

This is what I originally wanted (saw it in person at my local Target). Honestly, the picture doesn't really do it justice. The colors are much more vibrant in person and they really do pop. Love the dots & stripes.

And last but not least...

Also has a cute lookin' rug in the collection...

They are all cute & adorable, and I like them all because the shapes are modern and rather simple...I could definitely make some templates and stencils for the walls. Hmmmm, I think I know which way I'm leaning, but I'd love to hear some other opinions. I'm hoping that this doesn't turn into a many month-long research-athon (like my epic stroller search which resulted in a very detailed spreadsheet). Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Isn't baby bedding shopping fun?

Joy!

I just cannot stop smiling as of late. So many new additions to my small world of friends...a veritable baby boom! So, my official welcome:

Welcome to the world, Emma Jane Sherwin!

Welcome to the world, Ryan Ashley Dedels!

And congrats to my friend Jen, whose embassy date was pushed up and gets to meet her sweet boy earlier. What a wonderful early birthday present for Jen! Now how am I going to top that?

I feel more hopeful for my friends A & E (and myself) about referrals with all of this good news running about. I also discovered that another family using my agency just received their referral...my first piece of hard evidence that things were actually moving along with my agency. If I go by this family's timeline, I think that we will be able to get our referral and court date before the court closures (something I have been secretly worrying about for a while now). AND I found the cutest baby boy crib bedding at Target. Lordy, I do love that Target.

I'm in my happy place...

Well, not really. But, Kevin is finally on his way home and I'm currently watching a 30 Rock episode with a very cold Amstel Light. For me, that's pretty darn good.

For whatever reason I've been thinking about how or if I should get back into singing again. I find it amazingly hard to believe how little music & singing have to do with my current life. Especially considering that I spent 10 solid years of undergrad, grad & post-grad...all for what? I think back on my time at Eastman with such nostalgia. I remember how surprised I was to actually get in to Eastman. How I spent the first week or so waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and tell me it was a mistake. And how amazing it was to be surrounded by some of the most brilliant musicians and artists around. The phrase "in my element" applies perfectly. I loved the classes, the professors, my colleagues, my students, the performances...everything.

After I finished my doctorate there was definitely a struggle to maintain the kind of momentum that school-related deadlines, recitals, homework, performances fuel. But I did at first. I was happy (and again, surprised) to sing with Opera Illinois, then some weddings, recitals when I was in Chicago, and of course my teaching and work with DePaul Community Music. All of those things meant I was still a musician.

But it's now been almost 2 years since I've sung a note (of classical music, that is). I feel guilty every time I think of the monthly amount we pay towards my student loans. More than anything, I'm shocked at how easily music has slipped out of my life. Motherhood has completely taken over every bit of space that music left behind. I have lots of mom friends from grad school who seem to be doing both: motherhood and teaching, motherhood and performing. I wonder, how do they do it? When do they do it? Why do they do it?

Without the challenges/deadlines/competition of grad school, I find myself not knowing how to start. In school you practice to learn repertoire and you learn repertoire for recitals, competitions, juries...etc. I've never practiced just to practice. Learned repertoire just to learn it. And I used to love singing! I was passionate about German lieder, loved studying the Ophelia settings for my lecture recital, loved every opera role I had.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a SAHM. I love what I do and can say without a doubt it's the most challenging and rewarding thing I've ever done. I wouldn't change a thing. Ever. But sometimes I wonder if I'm cheating myself and my daughter by neglecting what used to be such a big part of who I was.

Stay tuned for a waaaaay less philosophical post about Lila's new hairstyle! Box braids!

Over her head

It seems as though I'm constantly hovering over Lila's head, adjusting curls, combing out knots, adding product after product after product, and now...cornrowing! Ok, some pics of my first attempt:

Ok, so I know the actual cornrows are pretty much crap. But, I am pretty proud of the parts (which I totally stole from another hair blog). I like the style: the cornrows keep the hair out of her face, she gets her pretty beads, and the rest of the hair you can put back into puffs, big braids, or twists...or whatever. I did this on Sunday and it was a frizzy mess by late Monday. Ah, well. I think it was mainly my suckiness at cornrowing, but also I think I need a product designed to really get those little hairs to stay. The only problem now? So many products! I don't know which to try first.

And onto my second attempt (this morning):

Better, I think. I like having the braid serve as a headband and Lila does love her ballies. Although, when I asked her to shake her curls (a daily thing for us) she whapped herself in the face with the ballies. Whoops. I felt horrible yet wanted to giggle a wee bit.

But back to the braid itself. Definitely better. I used some Carol's Daughter Hair Butter on the hair before braiding, and it definitely did help hold the hair initially. But as you can see, there are lots of hairs around her hairline that just didn't make it into the braid. And it just kept getting worse as the day progressed. Are those just baby hairs that should be loose? I am nervous to pull very hard...I certainly don't want her to have traction alopecia.

And isn't that last picture adorable! She was running towards me and the camera caught her curls mid-jump. I do love those curls. So, my quest to keep her hair as healthy as possible continues!

Horse Anatomy & other musings

On our way to Whole Foods this morning, Lila was playing with her horse figure when she asked, "Mommy, what's this?" I turned to see her pointing at the horse's junk. Gotta hand it to Schleich, they make realistic toys, right down to the junk. Now, I have no problem with talking to Lila about female & male genatalia...I'm all about calling things by their proper names. BUT, all I could picture was Lila showing every person at Whole Foods her horse's penis.

So, I dodged the question at first, mumbling something or other. Lila thought about it for a bit and said, "It's poopie!" Well, I couldn't let that one go, so I finally bit the bullet and told her it was a penis. That the horse was a boy, so he had a penis. To which Lila replied, "A boy penis? OH, RIGHT! A boy penis!"

Later in the day she was frustrated with me for some reason or other and began counting (as I do when she is to stop misbehaving before I reach the number 3). This is what came out of her mouth: "One...two...MOMMY GRANDEY!" If only she knew my middle name, that would have been hilarious.

Purchased some coconut oil and Alaffia leave-in for Lila!! Can't wait to try both and will definitely let you know how they work.

Thoughts, Prayers & Donations

It's almost too painful to watch the footage from the horrible earthquake in Haiti. I plan on giving to the Red Cross, and also discovered that Kevin's company matches all donations (check out if yours can here.)

As a member of the international adoption community, I also am heartbroken for all of those families who are now waiting to hear about their little angels. 

If you'd like to donate to the Red Cross, go here.

Oh, this is your family and I'm your mom!

Oh how I love "The Dinosaur Train!" It's cute, funny, entertaining, and adoption-themed! It's subtle, not terribly in-your-face, which I really like. Sometimes I feel like adoption-themed children's books are a little too, I don't know, obvious. Whereas Dinosaur Train treats adoption as it is to me, an important part of our family life, but it's not everything our family is, if that makes sense.

The added bonus, the show does touch on aspects of transracial adoption. Buddy (the T-Rex) does not look like his parents or siblings (Pteranadons)...and they deal with this issue in a couple of episodes. Also in very matter-of-fact, non-sentimental ways. Love it.

A small update on Lila's hair: fuzzy! The twists have not held as well as I had hoped. I don't blame the products I used as much as my own twisting ineptitude. I also think that, for twists and braids to truly last, I need to find a more hardcore twisting/braiding/loc product. But the best part is that Lila likes her style, and even asked me last night if I liked her hair. Of course, I GUSHED. We also made a trip to Hair Joy (love that place, love even more the name) to replenish our supply of ballies and beads. Lila requested purple ballies, so we now have A WHOLE LOT of purple ballies.

I plan on taking her hair out and cowashing ("washing" with conditioner) it tonight, then leaving it loose for a couple of days, just to giver her hairline a break. I hesitate to announce this, but I plan on trying cornrows this weekend! Just a few in the front, box braids over the rest of her head. Lila's already excited to have her hair full of pink & white beads.

Now for some comic relief:

Tee hee. I know, completely and totally immature. And it doesn't help to know that Kevin and I were giggling like a bunch of teenagers when we took this picture. It was at the guesthouse in Ethiopia. We were inside when our peaceful afternoon was interrupted by VERY LOUD moaning. Seriously. Loud. And funny (at least to the very mature Grandey family).  

Hair!

So, I tried my hands at a slightly more complicated twist style in Lila's hair. As you can see from previous posts, the most daring I have gotten is two flat twists going along the front of her hair line (ear to ear), the rest of her hair pulled back into two puffs or big braids. The two flat twists lasted for almost a week, way longer than I anticipated, and I just like the way they look. And until I graduate to cornrows, it's all I have in my bag 'o tricks.

My style plan was to have her hair parted in the middle, and rows of flat twists running down on each side into a pigtail. So, here is the fruit of my labor:

While I can't say that I'm incredibly happy with the final results, I do think that it's not horrible for a first effort. The whole thing took me over an hour, and would have taken me longer had I not done some preliminary parting of her hair after I washed and detangled last night. The parts are not perfect, but her scalp has quite a bit of give, so even when you think you have a straight line, once you pull the hair into the final style it can be completely off. Ah well, practice practice, I guess.

There were two places in the style where I really was stuck: first, I had planned on changing the twist into a braid once the twist reached the end of the hairline. But each time I tried, it just didn't work. How do I create the 3rd strand? I tried using the last bit of "picked up" hair for the twist, but it was tiny compared to the two twist sections, thus making a very lopsided braid. Which then leads to my second issue: since each row was not secured into a braid, I had a devil of a time trying to keep the finished twists nice & tight while moving on to the next row. I'm pretty sure if I can figure out how to turn each flat twist into a braid I'll be made in the shade.

Because of the above issues, her twists aren't super tight, and I'm not optimistic that they will last very long. I did prep each section with Blended Cutie's Jelly Cream which should help hold the style (I'm convinced it is what helped her other twist style stay in almost a week).

So, hopefully this will be a recurring addition to my blog. You can all come with me as I journey into the wonderful and daunting world of African hair. I'm angling to get a mannequin head for my birthday to practice cornrowing (hint hint). Very exciting!

2 Years Ago Today

We brought our beautiful daughter home. I remember arriving in Chicago in the late afternoon, surprised to find my Mom & Dad at the gate with a wonderful sign (made by my Mom's students). I can honestly say I have NEVER been so tired in my entire life.

There she is, meeting her Mimi & Papa for the very first time. Can you believe how tiny she was??

Here we are, just about to leave for the airport in Addis Ababa.

I had grand plans to celebrate today, but I think the way it went was pretty darn perfect. I went and got Lila out of bed this morning and she said, "Hi, Mommy. I love you so much, Mommy." Could there be a more perfect start to a day? We all took a nice long nap this afternoon, pet some bunnies while getting Molly dog food, watched Madagascar (while Lila crawled around on all fours declaring herself to be a lion), and then capped off the night with a tubby. Perfection.

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that 2 years have passed. While I can barely recall my life before Lila, it seems as though my life with her goes at warp speed. A big part of the reason for this blog is so that I can write everything down, remember as much as I possibly can because it goes by SO QUICKLY.

And to end on a truly cheesy note, I love the lyrics to this song...to me it perfectly sums up how I feel about Lila:

If you listen, you can hear

birds sing, and flowers grow.

If you listen, you can hear

my love for you just grow.

I think that when we first arrived home, I was impatient to love and bond with Lila. Now I know that I loved her from the very beginning. And even though it doesn't seem possible, that love just keeps on growing.

Oh the weather outside is frightful

Nothing delightful about it, my friends. This weather sucks. Very very very cold with lots 'o snow. At the moment I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to shovel with Kevin out of town until Wednesday. Or...perhaps I should just wait until it's done snowing. For the season. Yep, that sounds good to me!

Had a great first day of 2010 with a lovely lovely win for my Buckeyes. We watched the bulk of the game with the in-laws and extended family - it was the Grandey Family Christmas, so to speak. Lila had a BLAST with all of her cousins, and it was nice to just sit around and have someone else entertain her for a while.

The weekend was capped off with a great night at Abyssinia. We had amazing Ethiopian food (lordy, that cheese!) and, once again, Lila was in her milieu...performing for anyone who would dare make eye contact. The best part? Another mom's night in the works!!!!

Alright. Very long day and I hear the microwave beeping. Beckoning to me...dinner awaits.